August 3, 2013
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REALLY, REALLY RUNNING OUT OF TIME!!!!
Work, today, was better than it has been in a long time. But now I don’t care. I don’t care about what I am doing. I do care about doing my job to the best of my ability, but I don’t care a thing about the work I’m doing. I know this is God working in me, and it’s very freeing, but I can see that I’m spinning my wheels. I can’t continue in the job I have for much longer. I don’t have the stamina and strength I did in my 30′s and even into my 40′s. Even though I did this kind of job for more than a decade, for the 6 years before the job I have now I had a very different kind of work. I can’t simply pick up and go on the way I used to, and it is really showing like crazy. I’m simply not capable of doing this job for much longer. I feel good about what I accomplish, but what I accomplish simply isn’t enough. I don’t feel bad about my limitations. God has always had something else he wanted me to be doing, but I’ve run from it. It is no accident God put me in the job I’m in. I either pursue God’s call, or I find myself kicked onto the unemployment line, and maybe even the disabled list, if I don’t get the book done and get it done soon.
I have never been in this kind of situation, and I could just stand back and watch it all happen to me. I can’t stand around, but it is fascinating to watch what God is doing on a daily basis. I am truly under the gun, and I am running out of time. I may find myself out of a job by the first of the year. If the book isn’t done by the time the God has set for the job to end, my butt is gonna be flapping in the wind!!!PLEASE PRAY FOR ME; PRAY FOR GOD’S GRACE TO RUN THE RACE FAAAAASSSSSTTTTTEEEEERRRR!!!!
Comments (21)
Faster, Lonnie! You can do it!
I can definitely understand faster, but just be careful not to get impatient to where you begin to rely on the flesh rather than the Spirit ~ Isaiah 28:16. / Psalm 71.
@naphtali_deer - @sonnetjoy - - Over 1200 words in about 1.5 hours. I’ve never written this much so quickly before. God is in it. There’s need for editing, of course. God hasn’t transformed me into John Updike. Lot’s of pesky grammatical errors. Commas mostly. Curs’ed things commas!
@naphtali_deer - I agree with you, of course. We’ve seen plenty of flesh published on my various Xanga sites. Please keep me in your prayers. I need prayer more than anything else.
what kind of books do you write?
@RockOfEadie - The really religious kind. Scary stuff about how God taught me the most about his grace and love through my interactions with hookers. (And no, there were never any kind of transactions which included money changing hands).
@Such_are_you - sounds like you know a thing or two about coming back from rock bottom, congratulations then, for being around today to talk about it!
@RockOfEadie - You have absolutely no idea how dead on target you are about my hitting rock bottom. But I actually dealt with the hookers as a minister, at a small soup kitchen. And thanks for the congratulations, I almost succeeded in ending my life, so I appreciate your comment.
Oh haha, well, I guess I got lucky with the “rock bottom” guess then, because I assumed when you said “there were never any kind of transactions which included money changing hands” that you meant you traded drugs in place of money.I guess I read too much between the lines… or not enough, lol. But, it sounds like you did some great work and I hope the book does everything it needs to do.Always good to remember that hookers are people too.
@RockOfEadie - Never paid for sex, and glad I didn’t. The most vocal hookers would say things like, “I do what I do cause I love sex and I love money.” Course, after spending a couple years around hookers 1 of the first lessons hookers taught me is, “The majority of us are very fond of sex and money, but everyone hates being used, and hookers hate it more than any of us.” So thank you very much for saying hookers are people too. As you can imagine few people who deal with hookers treat hookers humanely..I never peddled drugs, my father did though. He sold drugs legally. He was a pharmacist. As far as the book, well I hope you’re right. I have serious doubts about it changing anything. I’m afraid too many religious folks I come across won’t like it at all. With the truth comes responsibility, and condemning hookers is just easier, thus it is,sadly the prefered approach.Blessings
@RockOfEadie - Are you planning on blogging regularly again? I too would like to subscribe to your site, but i prefer active bloggers. You have some interesting posts.
I would assume many of them do it out of a feeling of necessity. I’ve never paid for sex either, however, I have to respectfully decline monetary offers for sex on a daily basis almost everywhere I go.
@Such_are_you - I do actually, although not the same way that I used to. My blog used to be somewhat of what I would call a “variety” show that could be something on current events, humor, art, or whatever else was on my mind. But I’m a much busier man than I was back then, so this time I plan on consolidating my blogging range to focus on a singular project I am working on, which just so happens to be a series of books (of the secular variety). I will not be using my blog to directly publish my book as it is something that I plan to be able to sell, however I will be using my blog as a creative space for brainstorming, concepts, possible excerpts, artwork, and music all inspired and based around my project. It should be fun.
@RockOfEadie - Good… The next book is about you. And yes necessity is nearly always the pimp du jour. You show very good insights. Are you sure not slipping on a pair of stilettos from your inventory and working out of stock room?
@Such_are_you - alas, we do not carry women’s shoes in a size that would fit me… maybe these combat boots will be sultry enough
@RockOfEadie - i think your idea for using you blog is brilliant. I’m looking forward to watching your content!
@RockOfEadie - I’m sure guys from all branches of the military will find you quite fetching. Hope you take MRE’s as payment
@Such_are_you - I already have done much, but only really stuff that has involved putting together the concepts and characters, and ideas of the world that they will be occupying… only scratching the surface of the actual writing, part, but that’s where the fun will begin. What’s great though, is that I have a team that I’ve been brainstorming this stuff out with and they are going to try and make a computer game that will coincide with the story, so they are working on some really awesome artwork and music for it. (mind you, this is all very indie stuff, I haven’t even begun trying to talk to publishers yet). I’ve always been a creative thinker, and a decent enough writer, but I have no doubt that I will be learning a LOT about the actual book-writing process as this unfolds.
@RockOfEadie - Awesome! Go for it and don’t give up!
LONNIE! LONNIE!
Cheering for you, friend!
@GreekPhysique - thanks bro! I need it!